3 Ways To Deal With People | Dale Carnegie

January 10, 2018
how win friends and influence people

How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. This book was written when my parents had no idea they will be born, let alone meet, get married and well, have kids – I included. That’s how old this book is. You get the picture now! We are talking about 1936 here!

Yeah, I know you are like if it is that old why to bother yourself? Well, that’s the very reason you should be reading it if you haven’t!

Yes, the world has changed and I agree. But how we interact with people shouldn’t change and the fact that we are all still human should be the reason for you to learn how to treat people with kindness and that what this book is all about, in my opinion at least. Ooh, and it is one of the bestselling books of all time, what does that tell you? 🙂

I have had this book since 2016 and I have been returning to it from time to time because there is so much to learn. From how to make people like you – even though sometimes you just can’t force them to, but well, it helps. And today I want to share with the 3 techniques of how you can deal with people. Let’s get started:

How to win friends and influence people

  1. Don’t criticize, don’t condemn and don’t complain

I call these the big Cs. I can’t emphasize how important this principle is to everybody or at least for those who want to have good relationships with people around them.

If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive

You can’t be hoping for people to treat you better if all you do is criticize them or their abilities to do something. I have experienced this first hand, so I know what I am talking about. I used to be that person who always had something to complain about, something to criticize or to condemn and nothing really worked with my relationships with such habits.

When you criticize all you do is put the person in question in a defensive mode and they will do everything to justify their actions even if it means they will hurt you in the process. Why risk that when you can just be nice?

Criticism is dangerous because it wounds the person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance and arouses resentment.

Well, the book suggests that instead of criticizing, applause others for how you appreciate something that they are perfect at and well add how cool and beneficial it will be if they would improve on something that you think they are not good at instead of criticizing. I have tried this on one person and I tell you it works because he admits it.

When you criticize or condemn someone to be ready to receive the same because, well, what goes around comes back all the way around. Judge not, that you will not be judged. Before you criticize or condemn another person, think of how they will feel about your criticism or condemnation? And ask yourself how would you feel if you were on the receiving end, how would you feel? There you have your answer next time you want to do that.

Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbour’s roof, when your own doorstep is unclean. Do you want to change someone? Change yourself first because change begins with you.

I will speak ill of no man and speak all the good I know of everybody. Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do. Hey, don’t be that fool, I want no fools as my friends.

how to win friends and influence people

  1. Give honest and sincere appreciation

Do you know the feeling you get when you have been trying so hard to do your best in something, say you have been giving your best at work and your boss never appreciate what you do? Or have you ever been so good to people you love and none of them has never shown you any sincere appreciations as if what you are doing is nothing is nothing and it doesn’t mean anything to them? Yes, that same feeling is what I am talking about here. So, imagine you are the one who is not being appreciative of people, yes, that’s how they feel too!

The deepest urge of human nature is the desire to be important.

According to this book, well plus the obvious needs of human being are health, food, money and things money will buy, life in the hereafter, sexual gratification, the well being of our children and well, the one thing that many of us forget –  a feeling of importance.

The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated. Not wish or desire but craving to be appreciated. The desire of a feeling of importance is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals.

People are more likely, I included, to do the things you want them to do when they feel appreciated when they feel like you value their importance when they know that what they do mean something to you and you sincerely appreciate it.

Do an experiment, because I have done it, still doing it and I know it works. People can go miles to have that feeling, the feeling of being appreciated, and the feeling of importance to someone. People might even do despicable things to get that feeling, it is human nature and people will do anything to get it.

If some people are so hungry for a feeling of importance that they actually go insane to get it, imagine what miracle you and I can achieve by giving people honest appreciation this side of insanity!

A sincere appreciation is the biggest secret to dealing with people, appreciate them and value their contributions because it elevates their self-esteem. The same feeling that you crave, a feeling of importance, everyone is craving it. So, be kind enough to give it to people and you will receive the same feeling back and then some more.

Don’t flatter people with your meaningless appreciations those are cheap praises if you cant be honest about your appreciations you might as well not bother yourself giving them to anyone. Don’t be afraid of enemies that attack you. Be afraid of friends that flatter you.

  1. Arouse in the other person an eager want

It is not always about you, and it should never be about you. It should be about them. The world doesn’t revolve around you; there are other people in the equation!

Imagine all you do want people to do is what you want, you always scream me! Me! Me! You sound so selfish and nobody wants to be around someone who is all about themselves!

how to deal with people

I often went fishing, said Carnegie, but for some reasons, I found that fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn’t think of what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I dangled a worm or a grasshopper in front of the fish and said, wouldn’t you like that?

Of course, they would, it is what they wanted. And do you think he went home with no fish? Of course not, how could he go home when he gave the fish what they wanted?

The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how they can get it.

Imagine going to pitch your business idea to your potential investors and all you do is talk about what you will get out of the business and you forget the fact that they don’t care what you get out of the business, they care about what they get out of your business and they are so eager to hear about it and how you will help them achieve it. No wonder business pitches fail every single day because people are all about what they want, they think too much of themselves instead of the people that you are presenting your idea to.

Arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.

Well, in other words, be in someone shoes. Think of what they would want if they are in a given situation and give it to them or better yet, show them how to get it so next time they will remember you for it. Guess what will happen next? They will do what you want them to do.

If there is a secret to success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.

Next time you want to ask someone to do something for you, pause and ask yourself how I can make this person want to do it.

how to win people and influence friends

Ever heard of the famous question “what is it in for me?” of course you have heard about it because it is that famous! So, when a person asks you this, they think about themselves and how whatever you’re telling them to do will benefit them. So, there you have it, tell them what is in for them and how exactly the will get it. After this, you don’t have to worry if they will do it or not.

Well, there you have it. Have you tried any of the three ways above? Did they work? Would want to give them a try? What works for you? Let’s talk in the comments below.

That’s it for today. Dont forget to check out my lastest YouTube video here and subscribe.

Until next time,

Jane 🙂


This Month on Books: Option B | Sheryl Sandberg

November 20, 2017
Option B

Option A is not available. So let’s just kick the shit out of Option B., after all, we all live in some kind of option B.

Hey dearies 🙂 how are you today? As always, thank you for stopping by, I hope you had a very good weekend. Do you guys have any big plans for this week?

So, you guys know how much I love reading books, I mean who doesn’t? You know there is no friend as loyal as a book, okay, I didn’t say that but Ernest Hemingway did and I believe that.

Books cannot tell you they don’t have time to talk to you or they are too busy to talk, they are just there and it is on you to just decide to pick them and be like, ‘you know what? We need to talk’. Okay, that sounded pretty cool in my mind until I wrote it, but I am going to leave it there for the sake of making my point.

Option B

In October I was reading men are from Mars, women are from Venus, which I got from a friend of mine and I enjoyed it. So much to learn about the differences that men and women have and how they can complement each other. I might do a short review of it maybe next week.

In September I read a couple of books as well, I will post a review as well and you can read my August book review: How to be a bawse by Lilly Singh here.

And this November as I mentioned I am reading option B by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant. Sheryl is the COO of Facebook, I know, so cool! She is also the writer of Lean In, which I have heard a lot of good things about and I will be reading it in December and share it here as always.

So, options B is one of those books that you don’t want to put down once you start reading it. It is a book where Sheryl is telling a story about her husband who sadly died and left her with her two children to figure out how to live without him.

Option B is a book about facing diversity, building resilience and finding joy.

We human lose hope when the very person/thing that we wanted, needed, loved is gone. We believe that there is nothing else left for us live for and be happy about. We forget that if there was an option A then option B must be somewhere and we just have to look hard and be ready to find it.

Option B

This book was born when a friend told Sheryl that, “Option A is not available. So let’s just kick the shit out of option B.” The mission to kick the hell out of loss, grief, and everything that come with all that.

Sheryl says that there is always an opportunity for post-traumatic growth, that we have a chance to grow and be strong after a trauma when we allow ourselves to push forward without allowing the grief to go down with us.

There are three important Ps that is explained in this book that I found to be very relatable to many people who are grieving. Blaming ourselves (personalization), believing that every part of our lives have been changed (pervasiveness) or believing that nothing will ever get better (permanence).

We have to believe that not everything that has happened was/is our faults. Sometimes things happen and there’s  so little we can do about but rather we can learn from them, we can be grateful that we get to change some few things that they won’t happen again to you or to others. You can find ways to breathe again and keep going and believing that your presence has a reason and make the most of it.

Option B

Don’t be afraid to talk about the elephant in the room. Once we acknowledge it there is more chance of finding ways to deal with it. Ask a friend how they are feeling on that particular day instead of using the usual how are you. Be present for the grieving person, showing that you genuinely care about how they feel makes it easy for them to open up and ease some pain.

This book is very raw, it has inspiring stories of how people raise from grieve to become stronger and a reason for other people to smile. It is a must-read book which will help you with your grief and will help you help others to get through their grief.

My favorite quotes

  1. Option A is not available. So let’s just kick the shit out of Option B.

  2. Let me fall if I must fall. The one I become will catch me.

  3. When life gives you lemons, I won’t tell you a story about a cousin who died of lemons.

  4. In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at moments it finds a meaning.

  5. How we spend our days is how we spend our lives

  6. You must go on, I can’t go on, I will go on.

  7. Each one of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done

  8. We are stronger and more resilient than we think.

  9. Avoiding feelings isn’t the same as protecting feelings.

If you can put your hands on this book, you won’t regret it. There is so much to learn from the stories and experiences shared by different people. You might not be grieving now but you can help someone else get through their hard times and they will thank you for it.

That’s all I have for you today, I hope you enjoy your week, make the best of it and remember how you spend your day is how you spend your life.

Until next time, let’s keep kicking the shit out of option Bs.

Jane 🙂


How to be a Bawse by Lilly Singh | Book review

October 7, 2017
how to be a bawse

Remember when I told you guys that I was going to review this book How to be Bawse ages ago here? Yes, I remember that as well.

But guess what life has been throwing me too many punches lately 🙁 and I have been working so hard to make sure I survive, good God I am happy to say life and I are getting in good terms. We are back in our happy relationship again. Yey us 🙂

Anyway, so I had so much fun reading this book! It is so hilarious and so much to enjoy and learn. There are a lot of quotes on each chapter which I loved the most I could simply save them on my phone. Yes, I bought the book on Kindle.

As I said here, this book is a story of her life, her journey to getting where she is. This book doesn’t give you some wishful ideas towards success. This book gives you some guidance on what you can do to get where you want in your life. She gives examples of her struggles and how she conquered them.

So, I will share with you some of my best chapters, mind you there are 50 chapters! So, to read all of them you have to go buy this book here. Support a sister and invest in yourself!


Don’t be made don’t be broken

Success should not be built on a single line, it should be under different pillars. So when one pillar doesn’t hold then there are a number of them holding you!

If one opportunity will make or break your success, then your idea of success is not sold enough, to begin with. You can’t bank your entire success on one achievement. Your success shouldn’t walk on stilts.

You need to strengthen your foundation!

how to be a bawse

Have fewer emotions

Lilly might know me enough to write the whole chapter just for me. Yes, I am that emotional!  Not that emotions are bad, they are pretty good when shown at the right place with good reasons. And by the way, they say when you control your emotions you are more likely to control how you act and react.

When you need to get your hustles on, be driven by goals, not emotions. Yes, this! Lilly encourages that we train our brain to focus less on our feelings and more on productivity when things need to get done.

I totally agree with her, when we focus on how we feel we might end up spending the day doing nothing because our feelings are all over the place and you don’t feel like doing anything.

Make every struggle count and remember that experience will always be a silver lining. When it comes to getting work done and having the opportunity to learn lessons, don’t let your emotions rob you.

Be secretive

The more people know about you, the weaker you become. Well, that doesn’t need me to go into details. So, I am going to leave it at that.

Disclaimer: this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t trust people, you should but you must be selectively secretive. Have your person like Christina and Meredith (Grey’s Anatomy reference). A person that you can be open to, the person who understands you and is trustworthy.

“Don’t give away all your secrets or reveal all your vulnerabilities…it is up to you to decide what to reveal and when.”

Your EX was not right for you

When Lilly says EX, she doesn’t necessarily mean your boyfriend/girlfriend who for some reasons things didn’t go as planned – which may or may not be your fault or the other way around.

Well, if things ended then they were not right for you, end of story.

There are two kinds of people; those who understand that things might not go as they hoped, the accept it and move on. But then there are those other people who do not accept! They will cry about the same thing for ages.

That job that didn’t work out, that friend who left, that project that for some reasons failed even though you gave everything you had for it or anything that didn’t work out. Feel sad for some time because we all know how it hurts to lose something you have given everything you had, you invested so much on it but it just didn’t work!

Cry if you need to when you allow yourself to grieve you are allowing yourself to release that horrible pain. But don’t take forever, life is not pausing itself to wait for you.

Don’t let the person that left you, a job that didn’t work out for you, and project that failed define what it means to love and to be with someone, to find and have a job and to start a new project. They were not right for you!

how to be a bawse

Call yourself out

Be ready to admit when you are wrong when you make mistakes and take responsibility stop looking for some else to blame for your mistakes. Own your mistakes, call yourself out, find solutions and communicate and apologize effectively and be sure not to do the same mistake again, because then that will be a stupid choice!

Mistakes don’t exist to make us feel bad about ourselves; they are opportunities to learn and improve ourselves.

You can check out more book reviews here.

Be in love

Be in love with yourself! Well, falling in love with yourself might be the hardest thing but it is worth it, it is worth all the efforts! You know the feeling you have when you love someone? You want them to be happy, you want them to accept you and be there for you.

Okay just forget about that person (I am saying that to make a point not to tell you to forget that person) start doing all that for you and see how things changes, and yes that person will thank you for that because you will be in a better position to love them well.

When you love yourself you won’t be too hard on yourself, you will encourage yourself and you will be patient with yourself.

Like any other relationship, the one you have with yourself takes time and effort.

how to be a bawse

Schedule inspiration

Well, you can’t expect yourself to be inspired to do what have to do every time even if you love what you do! There is just that time your mind cant process and it needs some inspo, yap! I enjoy writing, I mean I love it, but tell you what, this post took me longer than it should have to get it to you simply because life can be tougher on us than we would like to be!

To make the inspo going, Lilly suggests putting something you enjoy in your to-do list of the day. But be sure to make that thing at the very end of your to-do list so you will have something to enjoy waiting for you after you are done with every other important thing in your list.

Now I have an episode of Grey’s Anatomy at the very end of the to-do list or a YouTube video of my favorite YouTuber and I am happy to say it is working out pretty well for me!

Inspiration is the fuel for your hustle.

Climb the ladder

I will keep this simple; you can’t stay at the same place all your life. You have to move from being a junior officer or to being a CEO or go all the way to owning that whole thing, wouldn’t that be epic?

So yes, climb the ladder. To get to somewhere high in life you have to be ready to handle the obstacles, haters and every other opposition. And remember no matter how high you climb there will always be someone higher than you!

Climb as many ladders as you can.

Protect your vision

Recognize that your idea is your baby and if you parent it well, it will grow up to be a wonderful event, product, blog. Your baby can change the world but first, you must make a promise to protect it.

I am going to end here, get this book! It is so much fun to read especially if you have been watching her videos. For me, reading this book was like watching her speak to me but so many lessons with so much laughter along the way.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is tired of surviving and they want to do some conquering. It is a simple read but a much-needed one!

Any recommendation on what I should read next? Let’s talk in the comments below or we can move the conversation on social media!

Happy reading!

Until next time,

Jane 🙂

Pictures: How to be a bawse book.


The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran | Book Summary

September 19, 2017
the prophet

Ok, I have said this before about a few books that I have reviewed here but I am going to say it again with the Prophet. This is one of the shortest books I have read so far and I will tell you it is one of the best in its genre.

When I was reading this book I felt like Kahlil Gibran was speaking to me as a father teaching his daughter how to live life with integrity. I never wanted the conversation to end, I wanted to keep on talking to him, ask questions, and lots of them, and not that he didn’t answer all the questions in the book just because I wanted to hear more about life. And I like to ask too many questions, yap, that’s how I learn.

This is one of those books that you just refer to whenever you have a question about something and you can’t seem to find an answer. Yes, it is that good!

The prophet is a prose poetry written by Kahlil Gibran in 1923 – yeah it is that old but you will be surprised how relatable this book is and it will be 100+ years to come. It has been translated into over 50 languages worldwide. Kahlil Gibran was a Lebanese poet and philosopher.

This book speaks everything about life: love, children, giving, marriage, work, death, religion, joy, and sorrow. Okay, it speaks all things life – if that makes sense.

The book starts with the coming of the ship. Almustafa, a wise man, the chosen and the beloved was going back home after having waited for his ship for 12 years in a foreign city of Orphalese.

He was on the hill overlooking the sea and he saw his ship coming, and he was happy. He closed his eyes and prayed in silence.

It was a happy and a sad moment for him, wondering how he can leave the city with peace, without feeling sad. We all have that moment when we are about to leave a place we have stayed for a long time – it can’t be that simple to leave the people you have shared so many memories together.

He asked himself, shall the day of parting be the day of gathering? As he went back to the city – from the hill, all people came to meet him! Crying out begging him not to leave the city, reminding him of the things they have shared together.

They asked him to speak to them and promising to pass it to their children. Okay, let’s dive in the teachings of the prophet: 🙂

the prophet

On love

When love beckons you, follow him. You know that feeling you have when you love someone? Yes, when that calls you and you believe in your heart that it is love then follow it even though love is not always easy.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed. For love is sufficient unto itself. When you love you should not say, God is in my heart but rather, I am in the heart of God.

He goes on telling them that love does not have desires, but when you have desires then these should be your desires;

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
– To know the pain of too much tenderness.
– To be wounded by your own understanding of love
– To bleed willingly and joyfully.
– To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.
– To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy.
– To return home at eventide with gratitude.
– And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon him.

Well, if you know any of these about love, then congrats if not please grab this book. There is so much to learn.

On joy and sorrow

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that gives you joy and does the same thing when you are sorrowful.

He told the gathering, Some of you say, joy is greater than sorrow and others say, nay, sorrow is greater. But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Only when you are empty, you are at standstill and balanced. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember the other is asleep upon your bed.

Okay, I am going to leave it at that. 🙂

On reason and passion

God rests in reasons and moves in passion. Do the same.

the prophet
On marriage

You were born together and together you shall be for evermore, you shall be together even in the silent of God’s memory, but let be space between your togetherness.

Need I say more? We get married, we stay together, and we become one. But in that oneness, there should be individuality to complement each other and help each other grow. Marriage is a beautiful thing and a gift, cherish it.

Read here to find out my thoughts about marriage.

On children

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you, but not from you. And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love, but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may strive to be like them but seek not to make them like you.

Speaking to moms here, I know this might be hard to swallow but you know it is true, right?

On giving

You know I believe in giving, I believe it is one way to show your loved ones – even to those who don’t deserve it, that you care and you are there for them. You get what you give. Read here more about giving.

Gibran says,

it is well to give when asked, but it is better to give when unasked, through understanding and the open-handed the search for one who receive is joy greater than giving.

Ever wonder why trees give so much? They give that they may live for to withhold is to perish!

the prophet

For in truth it is life that gives unto life-while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness.

Read that previous quote again so it can sink in. you are simply a vessel that the universe is using to give to other people. You are blessed enough so you can bless other people.

Be worthy of that blessing. It is when you give yourself when you truly give.

On religion

Everybody has their own religion, beliefs or whatever you call it. But simply something you believe in.
Almustafa told the gathering when they asked him to speak of religion

your daily life is your temple and your religion, whenever you enter into it take with you all you cannot rise above your achievements nor you can’t fall lower than your failure.

How you live your day to day life says a lot about your religion and what you believe in. your religion is not the Christianity, Islam, Buddhist, and Judaism or any other religion out there but rather how your action, how you treat people, how you treat yourself and how you live your life.

On work

When you work with love you bind yourself to yourself and to one another and to God!

If that wasn’t clear enough try “love what you do and do what you love”

To love life through labor is to be intimate with life’s inmost secret.

Work is love made visible. And if you can’t work with love but only with distaste, it is better you should leave your work!

the prophet

On freedom

You will only be free when you don’t have a want nor grief in your heart.

On time

Yesterday is but today’s memory and tomorrow today’s dream.

Make the most of today, now! It is all that we have and we will ever have. Be present.

On beauty

Beauty is kind and gentle.

Pay attention to this;

beauty is life when life unveils her holy face. You are life and you are the veil and beauty is eternity gazing at itself in the mirror. But you are eternity and you are the mirror.

Okay, pause. Let that sink in. Go back and read it again just to be sure. 😉 😉

the prophet

On death

Are you one of those people who have dreams (when you sleep, of course) and they seem so vivid and you can’t differentiate them from being dreams or reality? You feel you have really done what you dreamt about? Yes, that is a thing.

Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity. Life and death are one as the river and the sea.

So, these are just a few things that really spoke to me but there is so much you can learn from this book than you can imagine. It has more lessons than you can ever imagine. Some of them not mentioned here like on talking, on friendship, on pain, on self-knowledge, on teaching and much more.

Do yourself a favor, go find this book here. And yes, it is not a religious book but a spiritual book. Give it a chance.

Tell me in the comments below, what spoke to you from the summary? And what book would you recommend?

Until next time,
Jane 🙂


Book Summary | The Magic Of Thinking Big

August 23, 2017
book summary, the magic of thinking big

They say reading is the best hobby one can possess. In reading, you get to learn many things that might be of much help to your career and life in general. Reading a self-help book at least for 30 minutes a day or a book in each month or two depending on your timetable, may help you grow, change your way of thinking and your perceptions towards life.

I personally love reading as much as I love writing. Reading can be much more alive than watching movies. When reading a book, with the writer’s descriptions of events, your brain produces its own moving pictures and scenes! You simply visualize what you read, your imaginations help you to understand and memorize the message as they say don’t underestimate the power of vision and imagination.

If you can imagine then you can be it!

{Continue Reading}


This Month on Books | What am I reading this August?

August 1, 2017
how to be a bawse

Hey you! 😉 Thank you for stopping by. That makes me happy whenever you come. 🙂

So, now I will be reading at least two books every month, I know one month is long enough for two books. I have decided that so I can take more time to understand and make sure I apply the lessons in really life.

Cool, right? (I know). But the good news is that I will be sharing a book summary/review with you guys after I am done with each book! I believe you will love that and at the end you will be inspired to go find the book and read it. (At least that’s my purpose of sharing)

Ok, so this month I am reading The #1 New York Times Best seller How to be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life by Lilly Singh. First thing first, I like her, no, I mean I love her and everything that she does! She is a unicorn…

Lilly Singh a.k.a Superwoman is a YouTuber with 12 million subscribers with 2 billion views, she is a comedian and she is an advocate for women empowerment with her #GirlLove campaign. So, yeah she is a big deal but yet she is a good person. (I am a good judge of character) 😉

She is a definition of a superwoman, she has worked her way up on the entertainment industry with hard work not wishful thinking, she is where she is now because of who she is, her efforts and dedication and that is why I love her.

I bought her book on Kindle last month and I started reading it but I couldn’t focus so I am dedicating this month (August) to reading it and understanding it then share with you all.


Why am I reading it?

I have been watching Lilly since last year on YouTube and she motivated me in so many ways. She is positive and she motivates people to do more in life. My first video of her was 5 reasons you will succeed. After this video I just loved her, and I binge watched all of her videos.

This book is a story of her life, her journey to getting where she is. This book doesn’t give you some wishful ideas towards success. This book gives you some guidance to what you can do to get where you want in your life. She gives examples of her struggles and how she conquered them.

I want to walk through her journey, see how her mind thinks about life and how she is conquering life and how I can apply her tactics into my life.

I have a feeling this is going to be a fun ride! 🙂

So, make sure to come back here every now and then and you will get to learn what I will learn from it. Better yet you can buy this book here and we can talk about it here in a couple of weeks.

Or while you wait you can read some of my reviews here and here

I will share with you the second book soon, or better yet you can suggest down below on the comments. What book/books would you recommend for me?

Until our next talk,
Js 🙂


10 Rituals of Radiant Living | The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

July 20, 2017

Life gets crazier at times and you lose track of where you are going and what you want in life. You lose hope and you decide to search for something higher than yourself.

The Monk who sold his Ferrari a book by Robin Sharma tells a story about a successful lawyer (Julian) who lost his touch with life.

His work that he once loved stopped making sense, he was depressed and he didn’t like his life anymore. He then decided to give up his material possessions to go into the search of something higher than himself, to find peace and strengthen his spirituality.

So, as you know I love reading, (if you don’t know that then have a look here on how I find time to read). I really liked this book, it is very good for a person searching for a meaningful life. In this book Sharma teaches us 10 rituals for a radiant living.

Remember this is just part of the many lessons you can find in this book (May be I will do a full review or a summary later) what do you think?

Without any further due 🙂 here are the 10 rituals:

plants - 10 Rituals of Radiant Living | The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

The ritual of solitude

You have to make time for yourself everyday at least 15 minutes. This ‘me time’ will help you reflect on yourself, your actions, things and people that you are grateful for. The ritual of solitude helps you to reconnect with your true self.

The ritual of physicality

“As you care for the body so you care for the mind”.

You cannot expect to have a health mind if you don’t have a health body. These two go hand in hand. Move your body through exercise, eat well and drink plenty of water.

The ritual of abundant knowledge

Who told you graduating from school means the end of learning? Keep learning and apply what you learn every day. Become a student of life.

Learning does not only mean you go to class, read biology books and seat for exams. Learning means observing everything that happens every single day in your life. Read regularly but don’t just read everything. You have to be selective of what you feed your mind.

“A book is the best friend of the wise. To truly get the most of a great book is to study it not just read it”.

Read at least 30 minutes every day. You don’t have time to read? See how you can find time from your busy life.

The ritual of live nourishment


As you nourish your body so you nourish your mind. Ever heard of the saying “you are what you eat”?

Yap that is true. If you eat live food; fruits, vegetables, and drink water you are sure to stay live as well. You must eat foods that is in good relation with the universe (sun, soil, air and water).

Try as much to avoid dead food i.e. meat (using the word ‘try’ here because I am still trying as well).

The ritual of personal reflection

Get to know yourself, who you are and what you want. Reflect on that. Are being who you want to be and do what you want to do?

Make some time to reflect on your day, reflect on how it was and imagine of how you wanted it to be. Reflect on where you went wrong and where you can improve.

The only way to improve your tomorrow is to know what you did wrong today. Happiness comes through good judgement, good judgement comes through experience and experience comes through bad judgement.

Don’t be hard on yourself, learn from your mistakes and make a commitment to improve by learning from them.

The ritual of early awakening

Be sure to rise out of bed before the sun wakes up or at least wake up the same time with the sun (seems like both of you were tired shining somewhere out there).

What you do 10 minutes after and before bed has great effect on your subconscious mind. So be sure to stay positive, say a prayer or remind yourself things and people that you are grateful for and laugh or smile as many times as you can.

The ritual of music


Who doesn’t love music? So, get those headphones on, play some good music, sing along and dance your life out. Who would feel low with this? Definitely not me, I love music! I sometimes set a repeat one song the whole day, yeah, I am crazy that way 🙂

The ritual of the spoken word

What you say to yourself and what you think about yourself is so important than what others say and think about you.
Make a list of things that you say to yourself (affirmations) every night and morning.

This list should be about the positive things you want to see in yourself.

You are what you think and say to yourself so you might as well be careful of what you feed yourself.

The ritual of congruent character

Take time to build your character. This character is built by thoughts and actions.

You sow thought, you reap an action. You reap an action you sow a habit. You sow a habit you reap a character. Sow a character you reap a destiny.

Be guided by your heart, the industry, compassion, humility, patience, honesty and courage.

Be yourself and let the world love you for who you are not for what it want you to be.

The ritual of simplicity

rituals 2 - 10 Rituals of Radiant Living | The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

Simplicity is the new black!

Simplify your life and you will definitely enjoy it (and the vice versa is true).

Focus on things and people that matter to you, stop comparing your life with that of the other person. If you focus on everything that life has to offer then you will never be satisfied.

Life gives you what you ask for, and it is always listening. Pay attention to what you ask for.

I seriously recommend this book to anybody searching for a peaceful and meaningful life. You can buy it on Amazon.

Happy reading!
JS 🙂

Images source: pexels


The Go Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann | Summary

July 4, 2017
the go giver

I should admit this is one of those books that I can re-read over and over without growing tired of! And every time I read it I find something new, that’s how good this book is!

The Go Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann is a  short read but in it is a million dollar lesson, seriously! The go giver tells a story about a man named Joe who is struggling with his work, figuring out how he can hit his quarterly sales target.

Through the process of figuring out he meets a very successful man (Pindar) who later becomes his mentor and a good friend.

In this mentoring process Pindar teaches Joe Five Laws of Stratospheric Success though meeting different people who have used the Laws to realize abundance success.

One thing about this book is that it gives you a chance to try out the laws yourself as you read on and shows you exactly how to through Joe’s process.

the gogiver by bob burg and john david mann 1 638 - The Go Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann | Summary

And here is my take on the book:

The secret

“The more successful they are, the more willing they are to share their secrets with others.” Have you ever asked yourself why successful people are the most generous people in the world? They understand that for you to receive you have to give. There is nothing for something!

Giving is the secret to success! In life you don’t get what you want, you simply get what you expect, what you focus on is what you get! Focus on what you are giving; be it your writings, your services, your product or anything.

Expect to be treated better and you will be, expect to be loved then it is love that you will get and if you expect to be rejected, well you know what you will get!

Be generous and the world will reward you for it.

Five Laws of Stratospheric Success.

Yap, I mentioned about the five Laws huh, remember? Let’s have a look:

The Law of Value

All the great fortunes in the world have been created by men and women who had a greater passion for what they were giving — their product, service or idea — than for what they were getting. And many of those great fortunes have been squandered by other who had a greater passion for what they were getting than what they were giving.

“Your true worth is determined by how much more you can give in value than you take in payment”.

This for me was an eye opening, because we usually think of how much you get paid than how much value you give.

You can hear many people say “am not paid to do that”! Like what do you mean? Can’t you do something for someone unless you get paid for it?

Well, you are paid to do something else but it won’t hurt you to go extra mile to serve and add value. Your worth will be recognized through the value you add so do more than you are paid to. Give more than you take.

books - The Go Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann | Summary


You give, give, give. Why? Because you love to. It’s not a strategy, it’s a way of life.

The Law of compensation

“Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them”. Your compensation is directly proportional to how many lives you touch.

This law insist on the value you give and the impact of your value. If you want to succeed in life then find ways to serve more people, there is no limitation to how many people you can serve.

Everybody can be successful because everybody can give. Start where you are with what you have even if it means serving one person at a time.

Decision is a starting point of everything. Being poor or rich are both decisions. What will you decide to be? Well, the choice is yours!

Serving Coffee

Sometimes you feel foolish, even look foolish, but you do the thing anyway.”

It is not easy to go extra mile without being paid, people expect you to do something because you get something in return.

So when they see you do that they will laugh at you and discourage you! But keep going because you know exactly what you want.

the go giver



“They are the three universal reasons for working. Survive—to meet your basic living needs. Save—to go beyond your basic needs and expand your life. And serve—to make a contribution to the world around you.”

Don’t just focus your work on surviving, all these three go hand in hand! They are like first cousins. Survive, save and serve! As simple as that!

The Law of Influence

You need to know how to develop a network. By a network I don’t necessarily mean your customers or clients. I mean a network of people who know you, like you and trust you. They might never buy a thing from you, but they’ve always got you in the backs of their minds. They’re people who are personally invested in seeing you succeed. (An army of personal walking ambassadors.)

Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place others people’s interests first. We all have things we want in life, we want to achieve them no matter what and that’s okay!

But try to forget about your interests and think of what the other person wants. Forget about talking about yourself nonstop, try to get interests on others ask them questions about want they want and how you can help them achieve it. Focus on making the other guy win! They will thank you and be ready to give in return.

“You just love what you do. You love talking with people, asking them questions, learning all about them, finding ways you can help them, serve them, fill a need, share a resource”.

Don’t keep scores, be a friend and not a creditor!

The Law of Authenticity

“The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself”. Be present and be yourself!

“I care more about my wife’s happiness than I care about my own”. Be ready to give yourself to someone without thinking about what they will do for you! Like attracts like, so more you do good things for someone the more good things will come back to you!

Make people feel good about themselves and appreciate them! Everybody likes to feel wanted and appreciated, be there and show your appreciations!

“As long as you’re trying to be someone else, or putting on some act or behavior someone else taught you, you have no possibility of truly reaching people. The most valuable thing you have to give people is yourself. No matter what you think you’re selling, what you’re really offering is you.”

the go giver

The Law of Receptivity

“The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving”. This is a two way process, you have to give for you to receive and you have to receive for you to give!

You can’t always be the person who is giving or receiving, you have to be both for the Law to work! Be open to receive when you are given.

So the secret to success, to gaining it, to having it, is to give, give, give. The secret to getting is giving. And the secret to giving is making yourself open to receiving.

“It’s not better to give than to receive. It’s insane to try to give and not receive. Trying not to receive is not only foolish, it’s arrogant. When someone gives you a gift, what gives you the right to refuse it — to deny their right to give? Receiving is the natural result of giving”.

Bottom line

The point is not what you do. Not what you accomplish. It’s who you are. GIVE and RECEIVE. Just like breathing INHALE and EXHALE!

Every giving can happen only because it is also a receiving

You can get the Go Giver on Amazon