Open Letters

Twenty something | aging gracefully and getting wiser

September 5, 2017
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Honestly, I wouldn’t call myself wiser, but for the sake of #BirthdayGirl we should let it slide. (A girl can dream) 😉 #BirthdayGirl because it is still #BirthdayWeek. I know there is no such a thing but roll with it!

So, my birthday was on 31/08, where are my Virgo squad at? And yes, I believe in those things. I think they do make sense and sometimes they really tell the truth, let’s give them some credits. So, if you believe in them, you might as well be able to tell what kind of a person I am. If not, then that is a story for another time.

Well, twenty something is not a joke. So along the way I have gathered some lessons that have shaped me to be whom I am and they will continue to shape me. I will keep learning and unlearning because learning is an endless process and I am always ready to learn and unlearn. Hey, I am not perfect, I am actually very far from it and that is okay.

So, allow me to share with you some few lessons I have learned and still learning. You might agree with some of them and you might disagree with some and that’s okay. So, here we go:

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1. Family comes first

Ok, this might be so obvious but hear me out. When we were born first thing that was given to us is family. And family stick with us from birth to death, to me that is something to be grateful for. No matter what happens in your life, these are your people and they will always stand by you even when the whole world is against you.

Ok, I know we may fight, don’t talk for some time but in the end, they will stick with you no matter what. For me my family has been and will always be family, your family will always be there for you even when you are not there for yourself. They believe in you, love you, and they won’t give up on you. They may not say or show it quite as much as you would like them to but deep down they are always rooting for you.

2. People come and go

This might be the hardest lesson to grasp but it is nothing but the truth. Do you remember how many people used to be your friends and now you have no idea where they are, what they do and you don’t even remember their names even if you tried? When some people leave it hurts the most and some it doesn’t hurt, but either way, you have to let them go.

They left because they couldn’t handle your positive vibes or the other way, it doesn’t mean they are bad people it just means they didn’t want to stay, still let them go and appreciate those who stick by you. Know when to hold on and when to let go.

You can’t please everyone, you won’t be liked by everyone and that’s okay, live your life and remember that it is okay to be different.

3. A grateful heart is a happy heart

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This is a lesson I learned at a very early age. And it has been my way of life ever since. I learned this from my mother. She is always grateful no matter what is happening in her life she will always say, ”it is God’s plan and I am grateful”. I didn’t understand her logic until now, the thing is, no matter how hard things are in your life there is always something to be grateful for.

Even the smallest things are worth being grateful for and once you are able to find things to be grateful for every single day then you will realize how blessed you are and for that, you will be happy.

Appreciate the simple things, they carry loads of meaning and they might be the very things that make you a happy person.

4. Life is a series of seasons

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Nothing is permanent in this life. Your life itself has an end. That is nothing but the way of life. I remember at the end of last year and the beginning of this year was a very low part of my life. Things didn’t go as planned, I had no idea what will happen next and how I am going to get through it or let alone getting through the day, yes it was that bad. But here I am, 7 months later and I haven’t figured everything out but now it is a different story.

So, no matter what season you are in right now, it will come to an end and a new season will come. You have to understand everything comes and goes, just like people. You might have no idea what you are doing with your life now but in time you will look back and ‘it was just a season’ and life will go on!

5. Be a nice person, for no reason

I know it is such a cliché, but hear me out. I know there are a lot of crappy people in the world and they can totally ruin your vibes but you have to take the high road and be a bigger person. I have learned that people who treat you badly don’t necessarily mean they are bad people, it just means they are probably having things that they going through or they are just crappy people.

Don’t let that bother you and change who you are and try to fight them, they will surely beat you because they are experienced than you are at being low and that will ruin your inner peace. Let them be, let it go and continue to be a nice person but be sure to remember your worth. Don’t criticize them for their bad behaviors but rather acknowledge their good behaviors and you are more likely to help them that way.

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6. Money is important but it is not everything

I stand to be corrected on this, but for me, money is important but it is not everything there is in life. There are far more valuable things that money will never buy. Things like happiness, true relationships, kindness or a good heart.

I know you will argue with me that money can buy things that can make you happy, yes that is true. But the funny thing is that you will be happy for a while and then your unsatisfied heart will desire for something else.

Some people will pretend to be your best friends just because you have money. Hell, someone will marry you or be with you simply because there is money involved! And there is nothing real about that.

7. Start where you are with what you have

We sometimes get stuck somewhere because we have a number of excuses of why we can’t start doing something that we say we want to do, with a bunch of excuses that we don’t have this or that to start. Take an example of my blog, I had this idea of launching my blog ever since I can remember but I didn’t until two months ago. I was putting this off because I didn’t have a camera, then I was scared, yes there is always that fear! Maybe it won’t work, well how would you know if you don’t try?

Give it a try, work hard and then later you can say it didn’t work. But tell you what? Hard work pays, big time! Find what you are passionate about, love it, invest yourself in it, work hard and let the universe see you, I promise it will reward you. Trust me, like attracts like. You get what you give – Law of attraction reference

Get out of your comfort zone, take risks and be your best version

8. PMA – Positive Mental Attitude

This is quite important for anyone hoping to live a happy life. PMA will help you conquer some hardship in your life. It will help you to be a nice person even when people give you all the reasons not to be.

This kind of attitude has helped to have hopes even when I know something won’t work out and sometimes they do sometimes they don’t.
You know you get in life what you expect and you become what you think. Here is where this attitude comes in handy. If you think you will succeed at something and you make efforts then that’s exactly what you will get. Like attracts like – yes, Law of attraction reference – again, this should give you a clue that I believe in it 😉

9. Never stop learning

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Yes, never say never but let’s forget that for a moment “never stop learning”. Learning is a process. Going to school is not the only learning there is. Learn from your environment, learn from you meet every single day and learn from everything you see, you will be surprised by how much there is to learn.

Everybody and everything have something to teach. It might be something you want to do or something you would want to do. Learn from your mistakes, allow them to teach you and help you become a better person.

Read books, essays, articles and everything else that you believe might teach you something. There is so much knowledge in these things, book especially for me. I get to use someone else’s mind for a moment and improve myself. Ever since I decided to invest in myself by learning, I never looked back. I am a better person because of it. So yeah, never stop learning.

10. The most powerful and the weakest thing in your life is YOU

If it is one thing one we all have control with, it is ourselves! You don’t have control to your husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend, and weather, how people live their lives or their behaviors. Hell, you don’t have control over anything but yourself!

You can control how you react to what people do to you. You can control who you allow into your life, yes you have that power and it is very liberating to know that! You are very powerful, and that’s why I said you have to learn to let people go because you don’t have any control over them! You can simply control how you react to their leaving and not otherwise.

You can live whatever kind of life you choose for yourself. There is so much you can do with your life once you realize the power you hold. Don’t forget the weakness that you have! You can hold yourself down or you can push yourself to do better.

Don’t ever find a person to blame when things go wrong! Take responsibility for your actions. Look back, see what you did wrong if you can’t change it then learn from it and be sure not to repeat the same mistake again!

You are the most powerful and the weakest weapon you have, embrace who you are and take care of yourself.

Love yourself and forgive yourself but never blame others for your shortcoming. We only get one life, we might as well live it and enjoy it to the fullest. Work hard, stay humble, be grateful and be a nice person, always.

Well loves, there you have it… a lot of lessons but these are on my top 10. I hope they help you in one way or the other.

Happy birthday to me, yey!

Until next time,
JS 🙂

pinit fg en rect red 28 - Twenty something | aging gracefully and getting wiser

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37 Comments

  • Reply TUGBA NOHUTLU September 13, 2017 at 12:44 pm

    Happy birthday Jane πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰
    I enjoyed reading your post.

    • Jane
      Reply Jane September 20, 2017 at 8:45 am

      Thank you πŸ™‚

  • Reply Adine @ Average To Awesome September 11, 2017 at 6:44 am

    Awesome post, thank you!! I really started ‘feeling’ this in my late twenties, and it has made life so much easier! Not thinking about what others will think or thinking up problems that aren’t even there. Just peace (most of the time).

  • Reply Shelly September 11, 2017 at 5:48 am

    Beautiful sentiment.

  • Reply Victoria September 10, 2017 at 8:35 pm

    Loved this post. My favorite is your last “The most powerful and the weakest thing in your life is YOU” so very true.

  • Reply Lana September 8, 2017 at 5:58 am

    What a great and inspiring post. Love all your lessons and can say that you are a wise girl in your twenty something.
    Hope you are enjoying your birthday weekend.

    • Jane
      Reply Jane September 20, 2017 at 8:50 am

      I did, Lana. Thank you πŸ™‚

  • Reply Sheree September 8, 2017 at 5:31 am

    Great post Jane and such an inspiring read. I particularly like #3 and #5, great reminders for everyday.

    xo Sheree
    Posh Classy Mom

  • Reply Glenny September 8, 2017 at 12:31 am

    happy birthday!! I enjoyed reading this post and how inspirational this is! even at 30 I’m still learning so much about myself <3 Stay fab!

    • Jane
      Reply Jane September 20, 2017 at 8:50 am

      Thank you, Glenny πŸ™‚

  • Reply Candy September 7, 2017 at 5:15 pm

    I love #7. When I was younger, I used to have excuses for everything that ended up making things a lot more difficult or ended up making nothing happen. I finally realized I had to stop with the excuses and complaining since it wasn’t going to solve any of my problems.

  • Reply Leanne Brookes September 7, 2017 at 10:18 am

    Virgo baby in the house! My birthday’s coming up next week. I’m going to be 32! Wah! haha I agreed with every single point you made here. Family is so so so important, and I’m super grateful for mine because I know not everyone has such a supportive family. Also, I was totally an excuses person, but I hit 30 and just realised that I was wasting time making excuses. Everyones got to start somewhere.

    Loved it! Thanks so much and Happy Birthday! <3
    xxx

    • Jane
      Reply Jane September 20, 2017 at 8:51 am

      #VirgoBabies Yes! πŸ™‚ Yes, Leanne we gotta start somewhere.

  • Reply yusuph hashim September 7, 2017 at 9:37 am

    Thank you Jane, for your inspirational post.

    • Jane
      Reply Jane September 20, 2017 at 8:52 am

      Thank you for reading, Yusuph πŸ™‚

  • Reply Amy Kao September 7, 2017 at 4:15 am

    Love this beautiful post. Thank you for sharing with us, I enjoy reading and love the inspiration. Hope you had a wonderful birthday! and have a great week ahead πŸ™‚
    xo,
    -Amy K. // Beyondbeautybyamy.com

    • Jane
      Reply Jane September 20, 2017 at 8:52 am

      I sure did, Thanks, Amy πŸ™‚

  • Reply Stephanie September 6, 2017 at 10:46 pm

    I’ve been focusing on spending more time with family and now I am about to be an aunt. So excited for this next phase. I love your tips. I am also trying to have a more positive attitude and be more helpful.

  • Reply Kelly September 6, 2017 at 2:54 pm

    EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS POST!!! I’ve learned a few of these things in such a unique way this week. I am forever learning, but, I’m really grateful for the fact that I am able to realize these lessons when I reflect on my life. Great post!

    • Jane
      Reply Jane September 20, 2017 at 8:53 am

      Thank you for reading, Kelly πŸ™‚

  • Reply Margot September 6, 2017 at 1:33 pm

    Really insightful…you are a wise 20 something!! So interesting to read as a 35 yr old who feels not a day over 20!!!

    • Jane
      Reply Jane September 20, 2017 at 8:53 am

      Hahah I love the attitude, Margot πŸ™‚

  • Reply Cheryl September 6, 2017 at 1:24 pm

    Hi Jane! Happy birthday from one Virgo to another! My birthday is tomorrow (September 7th)! You have such great knowledge for a 20-something year old! Trust me, it will take you very far in life. Be blessed, my friend!

    • Jane
      Reply Jane September 20, 2017 at 8:59 am

      Yey! #TeamVirgo πŸ™‚ Happy belated birthday, Cheryl. And thank you, you are too kind πŸ™‚

  • Reply Just Ajda September 6, 2017 at 9:10 am

    This! I sooo agree with this! With every single one of your points. Really really really do. Thanks for this list πŸ™‚

    • Jane
      Reply Jane September 20, 2017 at 9:00 am

      Thank you, Adja πŸ™‚

  • Reply Aaliyah September 6, 2017 at 9:09 am

    I enjoyed reading your post! I always tell people “everyday is a good, it is a mindset thing.” Everything you talked about I have experienced myself and I am 22. People come and go but I learned to keep God first, then family and allow God to guide my footsteps in the world of unknown. Great post!

    • Jane
      Reply Jane September 20, 2017 at 9:01 am

      I totally agree with you, Aaliyah. πŸ™‚

  • Reply Getrude September 5, 2017 at 7:08 pm

    Thank you for the reminder Jane it means a lot…
    Happy birthday love😍😍live long and be blessed

    • Jane
      Reply Jane September 20, 2017 at 9:03 am

      Thank you, dear, Getrude πŸ™‚

  • Reply Sierra Annastasia September 5, 2017 at 5:08 pm

    Happy belated birthday! I agree with each and every one of these lessons. Some of them are so simple, yet people tend to get caught up in life and forget these most important values. Thanks for the great reminder πŸ™‚

    • Jane
      Reply Jane September 20, 2017 at 9:03 am

      Thank you, Sierra πŸ™‚

  • Reply Renuka September 5, 2017 at 3:41 pm

    Wow….what a read, love the article…trying to include all this in my own life as well.

  • Reply Tia September 5, 2017 at 2:24 pm

    Omg. We share the same birthday!!! I literally had to double check the post to make sure I wasn’t reading mine! I love, love, love this post. Life is most definitely a series of seasons and I’m still learning that.

    • Jane
      Reply Jane September 20, 2017 at 9:04 am

      Yey! πŸ™‚ Happy belated birthday dear, Tia

  • Reply Denisa September 5, 2017 at 2:14 pm

    Wow, this post is really inspirational. Thank you for your lessons, they are great. πŸ™‚
    Oh, and happy birthday!
    Denisa

    • Jane
      Reply Jane September 20, 2017 at 9:04 am

      I am glad you found them inspirational, Denisa πŸ™‚

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